Sir, Here it Says that You Have Arrived at Your Destination
Writing this blog is a tool for me to internalize the experiences I am living now. But something very interesting happened while I was in China. Somehow I was not able to keep up with the writing. Although no one will take away the amazing experiences I lived in Beijing and Shanghai, for one reason or another, I was not able to fully internalize my overall experience there. China flew by me, or I flew by China.
I have been questioning a lot what happened to me while I was there. I did foresee that I might not be able to create the habit of writing down my thoughts. I knew that I will not have much time and have lots of things to do. I did not know though how painful it could be to rely on internet in China since it has a firewall that restricts access to the internet (although that is no excuse). I knew my challenges, but still I did not manage to write a single blog post.
And we are in India now. The last part of the program.
As I arrived to India I promised myself to get back to my writing. But I needed to figure out what happened first, so I would not fall in the same situation again. And it all came back to me when I heard one of my best friends arrive to India. We were a week into the last country on the program and after visiting the Taj Mahal, Ryan comes to me and shouts: "Wow finally, I just arrived!" I could see the energy in his eyes. He was happy, fully owning himself; he was suddenly very present.
I have been questioning a lot what happened to me while I was there. I did foresee that I might not be able to create the habit of writing down my thoughts. I knew that I will not have much time and have lots of things to do. I did not know though how painful it could be to rely on internet in China since it has a firewall that restricts access to the internet (although that is no excuse). I knew my challenges, but still I did not manage to write a single blog post.
And we are in India now. The last part of the program.
As I arrived to India I promised myself to get back to my writing. But I needed to figure out what happened first, so I would not fall in the same situation again. And it all came back to me when I heard one of my best friends arrive to India. We were a week into the last country on the program and after visiting the Taj Mahal, Ryan comes to me and shouts: "Wow finally, I just arrived!" I could see the energy in his eyes. He was happy, fully owning himself; he was suddenly very present.
Ryan and I talking deep before the Taj
I need to admit that at the beginning I was a little bit baffled for his reaction. “How come you just arrived bro!?” I wondered. We were having an amazing time in India together, but he only felt that he fully arrived days after we landed.
I realized that a plane ticket does not guarantee that you get to your destination.
I reflected on China again. My body was in China, but I guess that my mind and heart were definitely somewhere else. And because I was not able to have the three of them with me is that I failed to be present for such a long time. I realized that I was spending much of my time thinking about the future, about long-term decisions, about things that were not pertaining to the experiences I was going through in Beijing and Shanghai. I was not thinking on being present.
Again, my time in China was awesome. I have no doubt about it. I had a lot of fun, I learned a lot, I got closer to my friends. I even had my family come to visit! Only Daniel was missing though. My mom, my dad, and Nicole traveled there as part of a business trip of my dad around Asia. One of the coolest nights was when we invited my closest friends to eat at a very nice restaurant. We all had a lot of fun, engaged in really interesting conversations, and had amazing food! It made me really happy to introduce my family to my friends and vice versa, because they both mean a lot to me now.
My 2 fams at Barbarossa Restaurant in Shanghai
But away from this and many other experiences that I fully owned, where I felt very present, I failed to maintain that same state throughout. These are some of my reflections:
My heart was in Boston. It is not easy to leave Boston during your senior year (last year of college). During China I received the amazing news that I will be going San Francisco for another semester abroad program with Babson next semester. But somehow the excitement of getting accepted faded away when I realized that I was actually going to spend my entire senior year away from Boston. People that matter a lot to me are there now. So definitely the thought of being far away for so long time hit me.
My mind was in the future. Not as Elon Musk or other visionaries though. I spent much time thinking about future plans, from mundane ones to other than mean a lot to me. Where should I travel for my spiritual trip after BRIC? What am I going to do to take full advantage of San Francisco? Internship or should I do something else? What should I do after graduation? And more… The idea of graduating is very exciting for me. I am ready to leave the academic environment and begin creating value in the world: but where? For whom?
So, by not being able to have my heart, my mind, and my body in the same place, I failed to be fully present in China. I was nowhere.
This idea of being present is very powerful and I think we take it for granted. Being present is not just attending and event, rising your hand when the professor shouts your name, sitting in the dinner table with your family, or watching a romantic movie with your significant other. Being present is being able to fully be yourself in that specific time and place; to own the moment you are living; to be aware of what is going on; to have your body, mind, and heart in the same place.
Where are you now?
